Step 1: Avoid mistakes
Feb 3, 2024
Becoming a disastrous manager is easy. You should learn how to be a terrible manager. The mistakes are depressingly common and obvious. And easily avoided.
Let’s look at fun some ways of sabotaging yourself (and avoiding those).
Ignore HR deadlines
HR teams tend to be superb at documenting their processes. At most companies there is excellent training. In terms of leverage, this is the easiest one to master. Yet too many new (and seasoned) managers ignore these.
You are now a part of the bureaucracy of the company. You will feel scrutinized by peer managers when you calibrate your employees or provide feedback. Say hello to imposter syndrome!
Build a relationship with your HR partner. Ask your peer managers and your management chain for help. Spend time on your training - you won’t feel stupid later.
Complain
Things are different now. Sometimes better; some worse. But almost universally, scary. You can choose to complain about the things that scare you. You may get a sympathetic ear for a bit. But it won’t improve anything.
The human brain, geared for survival, focuses on negatives (as they appear more threatening to survival) than on positives (which enhance life but are less vital for survival). As the brain perceives negatives at an approximated ratio of five to one, there is simply more to complain about than there is to be grateful for.Schwartz, B. The psychology of complaining. Psychology Today. psychologytoday.com, April 2021.
Take notes and complain into a book instead. You will gain perspective by putting your self outside the complaint.
Jump into skill-building
What you don’t know will feel like the most urgent thing to learn. You have finite time and attention. What you choose to focus on determines everything you won’t be able to focus on.
Your goal is to maximize the space to focus. Translated, you are going to have to learn to accept not knowing a lot of things.
Spend more time talking rather than listening
I lob solutions at people when they want to just talk about a problem with me. When they tell me something interesting, I cut them off to tell them my (more interesting) stories. I politely nod my head, but I am already formulating what I am going to say. In short, I can be a terrible listener. But I have a system to listen.
My listening system in four steps
- Reduce the number of meetings I attend (if I can’t listen then why am I here).
- On video-conferencing, I mute my microphone.
- I write down everything that everyone says.
- Block five minutes after each meeting to clean up my notes.
You should figure out what works for you and build your system.
A lifetime of poor listening habits is difficult to change overnight. But as an avoidable problem, I can’t think of a more valuable one. It is a root skill that enables so many more.